Warning!

For my performance I have decided to wear my gorgeous purple hat

and recite my favourite poem by Jenny Joseph

Warning!

When I Am An Old Woman

I shall wear purple

With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

And run my stick along the public railings

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

And pick the flowers in other people's gardens.

And learn to spit!